Welp, I think I know why I gots fireded. This here internets be taking up a lot of time. I haven't posted anything or even looked at any other blogs much because I haven't had the time. "WHAT THE FUCK?" you say. Seriously, in order to post here and in dAndyville be taken up some time and believe it or fucking not I've had better things to do since becoming unemployed than fuck around on the intarwebs all day. So yeah, I think I used to spend at least 4 hours solid fucking around online each day at my last job.
Keep checking in. I'm sure I will get bored sometime soon.
Oh yeah, did anybody see the Deadliest Catch Premier last night? I missed it. Gonna try and catch it online somewhere. If anybody knows where I can find it holla!
Showing posts with label l a z y. Show all posts
Showing posts with label l a z y. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Day 35 - 3/30/09
Welp, it's t-minus 4 days now so I don't guess the title of this shatty blog is appropriate anymore. I apologize tremdously for any confusion this may have caused all .24 of you that read this.
Uh, nothing much going on as usual. I got doinked out of the NCAAB pool at work. I lost a 1, 2, two 3's, and a 4 seed in a matter of 3 days. Fucking great! Jimmy Johnson drove his ass off yesterday and Tiger was Tiger. Look out Augusta, or I guess I should say look out fellow Masters competitors. Heeeeee's back.
In other news the Shamwow guy......
.... got in a little trouble this past weekend. Apparently, to all you hookers out there....RESPECT THE SHAMWOW GUY!!! According to The Smoking Gun he got a hooker and crossed the line by kissing her with the tongue. I've never been with a hooker, but even my dumbass knows you NEVER kiss a hooker. It's against the commonly accepted practices of hookering (CAPH). Not to mention, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT YOUR TONGUE IN A FUCKING HOOKER'S MOUTH?!?!?!?! Anyhoo, when he did that the hooker bit his tongue and wouldn't let go until it either thundered or he beat the living shit out her. He chose not to wait on the storm and smashed her face up pretty good/bad. Depends on how you look at it I guess.
Also, my Wii got really smart yesterday. I connected it online for the first time. For some reason I made that shit extremely hard the first 18 times I tried to do it and then yesterday I dug deep and harnished my inner Chinaman and fuggerred it out. Shit's pretty cool. You can get the weather and all that and you can buy some of the classic NES games. Here's what got me though. I was sippin on some sauce watching UNC smack the shit out of Blake Griffin and the Sooners and all of a sudden my Wii starting winking at me and it was turned off. There is a blue light that comes on only when you are putting a disc in or taking one out. Well, the light started winking at me. I felt like the money I could be saving with Geico was staring at me. So I turn the bitch on and my Wii is telling me that I have new messages because there is an update that I can install. Wow, technology these days. So, this made me think about what the future holds technology wise and what I think would be best for dAndy.
How cool would it be if they made a TV that had the capability to have a smaller picture within in the big picture of something different from what you are watching on the big picture?
I think having a toilet that automatically flushed would be AWESOME. I'm suprised no one has invented that yet.
Someone should make a website in which anyone could freely write about things going on in the world and in their daily lives. Kind of like a weB LOG or something.
How awesome would it be if someone made shoes that had air in them and you could have a little pump thing on it and control the level of air in the shoes. Do you think you could jump higher with air shoes?
I think that it would be neat if a purse for men was invented. It shouldn't be like a regular purse though. I think it should be something you could wear on your hip like a pack or something.
If I can think of any other life chaning inventions I'll update you accordingly.
{Image via The Good the Bad and the Ugly}
Uh, nothing much going on as usual. I got doinked out of the NCAAB pool at work. I lost a 1, 2, two 3's, and a 4 seed in a matter of 3 days. Fucking great! Jimmy Johnson drove his ass off yesterday and Tiger was Tiger. Look out Augusta, or I guess I should say look out fellow Masters competitors. Heeeeee's back.
In other news the Shamwow guy......
.... got in a little trouble this past weekend. Apparently, to all you hookers out there....RESPECT THE SHAMWOW GUY!!! According to The Smoking Gun he got a hooker and crossed the line by kissing her with the tongue. I've never been with a hooker, but even my dumbass knows you NEVER kiss a hooker. It's against the commonly accepted practices of hookering (CAPH). Not to mention, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT YOUR TONGUE IN A FUCKING HOOKER'S MOUTH?!?!?!?! Anyhoo, when he did that the hooker bit his tongue and wouldn't let go until it either thundered or he beat the living shit out her. He chose not to wait on the storm and smashed her face up pretty good/bad. Depends on how you look at it I guess.
Also, my Wii got really smart yesterday. I connected it online for the first time. For some reason I made that shit extremely hard the first 18 times I tried to do it and then yesterday I dug deep and harnished my inner Chinaman and fuggerred it out. Shit's pretty cool. You can get the weather and all that and you can buy some of the classic NES games. Here's what got me though. I was sippin on some sauce watching UNC smack the shit out of Blake Griffin and the Sooners and all of a sudden my Wii starting winking at me and it was turned off. There is a blue light that comes on only when you are putting a disc in or taking one out. Well, the light started winking at me. I felt like the money I could be saving with Geico was staring at me. So I turn the bitch on and my Wii is telling me that I have new messages because there is an update that I can install. Wow, technology these days. So, this made me think about what the future holds technology wise and what I think would be best for dAndy.
How cool would it be if they made a TV that had the capability to have a smaller picture within in the big picture of something different from what you are watching on the big picture?
I think having a toilet that automatically flushed would be AWESOME. I'm suprised no one has invented that yet.
Someone should make a website in which anyone could freely write about things going on in the world and in their daily lives. Kind of like a weB LOG or something.
How awesome would it be if someone made shoes that had air in them and you could have a little pump thing on it and control the level of air in the shoes. Do you think you could jump higher with air shoes?
I think that it would be neat if a purse for men was invented. It shouldn't be like a regular purse though. I think it should be something you could wear on your hip like a pack or something.
If I can think of any other life chaning inventions I'll update you accordingly.
{Image via The Good the Bad and the Ugly}
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Day 23 - 3/18/09 - A Day Off
So, today was a glimpse of what is going to be like here soon, sort of. I took off today in order to fully celebrate St. Patty's day last night. I didn't want getting up for work at 5am to hinder my drinking performance in honor of green beer and some Irish guy that killed a bunch of snakes or whatever the fuck St. Patrick did. So this is how today went.
743am- look at clock - go back to sleep
1023am - realize there is a girl next to me in bed - it's my girlfriend - wheew!
1028am - ........
1100am - get out of bed - realize I am not hungover - YAY - still regret asking bartender for a shot of cheap irish whiskey to end the night though
1104am - cook pancakes and bacon
1122am - eat pancakes and bacon
1134am - start wondering what to do today
1152am - still wondering what to do - my couch is comfy
1207pm - guitar hero it is
214pm - enough of the guitar hero - try to find something on TV
228pm - eat some chips and dip
236pm - realize how bad afternoon TV sucks
315pm - wash dishes from breakfast
After that I had to go take care of some things, but the reality of being unemployed and having nothing to do was mind boggling. Luckily I had something to do that occupied a good 5 hours of my time. Come 4/6/09 it's gonna be a whole new ball game. BE AFRAID BE VERY AFRAID!!
743am- look at clock - go back to sleep
1023am - realize there is a girl next to me in bed - it's my girlfriend - wheew!
1028am - ........
1100am - get out of bed - realize I am not hungover - YAY - still regret asking bartender for a shot of cheap irish whiskey to end the night though
1104am - cook pancakes and bacon
1122am - eat pancakes and bacon
1134am - start wondering what to do today
1152am - still wondering what to do - my couch is comfy
1207pm - guitar hero it is
214pm - enough of the guitar hero - try to find something on TV
228pm - eat some chips and dip
236pm - realize how bad afternoon TV sucks
315pm - wash dishes from breakfast
After that I had to go take care of some things, but the reality of being unemployed and having nothing to do was mind boggling. Luckily I had something to do that occupied a good 5 hours of my time. Come 4/6/09 it's gonna be a whole new ball game. BE AFRAID BE VERY AFRAID!!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Day 17 - 3/12/09
First off, let me apologize to all 1 of my loyal readers for not getting anything up here lately. I'll try to do better about posting regularly lest I don't lose your patronage. {ed. note: I had this ready at 9am, Thursday, 3/12/09, but the internets was broke at work}
So what's crackalacking? Not a whole lot really. I've pretty much came to terms with my destiny of being a sorry mofo. It will be weird as shit not having anything to do. I know most people, including myself, have dreamed of being able to not do a damn thing all day. However, I don't know that I am actually looking forward to it that much. I kind of feel like the old guy that's about to retire and then starts thinking about all of the things he wants to do. The only difference is that I won't have any money to do any cool shit with.
Other than becoming the best Guitar Hero the world has ever known I don't have much on my agenda. One big goal is going to be to lose some weight and get in tip top shape. I'm not a fatass per say, but I could use to lose some poundage in the guttox and build some muscle. So, hopefully I'll make good use of my idle time by working out. One of my goals for a while now has been to be in the best shape I have been in a long time before I turn 30. T-minus 99 days for that. I may go as gay as to post weekly pictures of my fatass gut to see if there are any noticeable changes are taking place. Plus that added pressure should help me to stick with it and actually get into shape. That will be a different blog to spare you non-homos of having to see me slowly evolve into a beast of a man Possibly something along the lines of www.unfatdAndy.blogspot.com or www.dAndybeshapinup.blogspot.com or maybe even www.thisfatfuckthinkshecangetintoshape.blogspot.com. I'll think up something good once I get all this time on my hands or if you have any ideas throw a comment up in this mug! Just think, your creative insight could lead to a blog name. You'll be famous and rich and have a yacht and shit.
Of course I'll probably blog my ass off while taking breaks from ripping out killer streaks on the Guitar Hero Would Tour expert level. So you have that to look forward to as well. I'll probably fire www.dAndymancandy.blogspot.com back up again for sports/fantasy bullshit. Might get a little Jaguar or UF feature kicking. Hell I'll probably get so bored that I will blog about shit that's on C-SPAN and what not. I can see it now..."BREAKING FUCKING NEWS - THE HOUSE JUST VOTED YES ON BILL #4208457." That will be on www.dAndytalkspoliticsnshit.blogspot.com.
One idea that hit me recently was to create a website for the wealthy to donate money to me. I know it sounds a little far fetched at first glance, but just relax and go with me to my happy place for a bit. How many rich fuckers do you think would miss $10, $20, or even $50 a month? The numbers on that are probably mind blowing if you think about it even with the economy the way it is. If I could make my own charity then they could even write the donation off right? Don't rich fuckers love to feel good about helping people and then harness that warm and fuzzy good feeling all the while getting a tax write off out of it? The answer to that is FUCK and YES! All I need to do is figure out a creative marketing strategy and get the word spread. If I could get a handful of people to buy into helping a good guy who is faced with the challenges of living life making less than 25% of what he was making before going on unemployment while trying to afford a place to live and support 2 kids with no decent future job in sight. How cool would that be if I could make it fly? I guess the first step would be creating a site to get donations from rich people to help a guy get a charity started to create a site for rich people to donate money to. But then I would need to create a site to get donations to create the site to get donations to create the site. It's a viscous cycle, but I've got time.
One thing my soon to be ex-boss told me that I will cherish forever was that laziness can create some of the best solutions to problems. I found that out by being the sorry mofo that I am. Basically when faced with a task or challenge my lazy ass would think of the easiest way or a way to get shit did with the least amount of physical effort which in 3 out of 6000 times would actually lead to a good way of getting something hard done. So that's some of my reasoning behind the rich people help dAndy plan. www.pleasehelppodAndy.blogspot.com will be the place for that to take place. Wish me luck in my endeavors!
Stay tuned I'll get better about posting soon. Especially in a couple few weeks! In the meantime here is a picture of what I will be doing when that day comes......
So what's crackalacking? Not a whole lot really. I've pretty much came to terms with my destiny of being a sorry mofo. It will be weird as shit not having anything to do. I know most people, including myself, have dreamed of being able to not do a damn thing all day. However, I don't know that I am actually looking forward to it that much. I kind of feel like the old guy that's about to retire and then starts thinking about all of the things he wants to do. The only difference is that I won't have any money to do any cool shit with.
Other than becoming the best Guitar Hero the world has ever known I don't have much on my agenda. One big goal is going to be to lose some weight and get in tip top shape. I'm not a fatass per say, but I could use to lose some poundage in the guttox and build some muscle. So, hopefully I'll make good use of my idle time by working out. One of my goals for a while now has been to be in the best shape I have been in a long time before I turn 30. T-minus 99 days for that. I may go as gay as to post weekly pictures of my fatass gut to see if there are any noticeable changes are taking place. Plus that added pressure should help me to stick with it and actually get into shape. That will be a different blog to spare you non-homos of having to see me slowly evolve into a beast of a man Possibly something along the lines of www.unfatdAndy.blogspot.com or www.dAndybeshapinup.blogspot.com or maybe even www.thisfatfuckthinkshecangetintoshape.blogspot.com. I'll think up something good once I get all this time on my hands or if you have any ideas throw a comment up in this mug! Just think, your creative insight could lead to a blog name. You'll be famous and rich and have a yacht and shit.
Of course I'll probably blog my ass off while taking breaks from ripping out killer streaks on the Guitar Hero Would Tour expert level. So you have that to look forward to as well. I'll probably fire www.dAndymancandy.blogspot.com back up again for sports/fantasy bullshit. Might get a little Jaguar or UF feature kicking. Hell I'll probably get so bored that I will blog about shit that's on C-SPAN and what not. I can see it now..."BREAKING FUCKING NEWS - THE HOUSE JUST VOTED YES ON BILL #4208457." That will be on www.dAndytalkspoliticsnshit.blogspot.com.
One idea that hit me recently was to create a website for the wealthy to donate money to me. I know it sounds a little far fetched at first glance, but just relax and go with me to my happy place for a bit. How many rich fuckers do you think would miss $10, $20, or even $50 a month? The numbers on that are probably mind blowing if you think about it even with the economy the way it is. If I could make my own charity then they could even write the donation off right? Don't rich fuckers love to feel good about helping people and then harness that warm and fuzzy good feeling all the while getting a tax write off out of it? The answer to that is FUCK and YES! All I need to do is figure out a creative marketing strategy and get the word spread. If I could get a handful of people to buy into helping a good guy who is faced with the challenges of living life making less than 25% of what he was making before going on unemployment while trying to afford a place to live and support 2 kids with no decent future job in sight. How cool would that be if I could make it fly? I guess the first step would be creating a site to get donations from rich people to help a guy get a charity started to create a site for rich people to donate money to. But then I would need to create a site to get donations to create the site to get donations to create the site. It's a viscous cycle, but I've got time.
One thing my soon to be ex-boss told me that I will cherish forever was that laziness can create some of the best solutions to problems. I found that out by being the sorry mofo that I am. Basically when faced with a task or challenge my lazy ass would think of the easiest way or a way to get shit did with the least amount of physical effort which in 3 out of 6000 times would actually lead to a good way of getting something hard done. So that's some of my reasoning behind the rich people help dAndy plan. www.pleasehelppodAndy.blogspot.com will be the place for that to take place. Wish me luck in my endeavors!
Stay tuned I'll get better about posting soon. Especially in a couple few weeks! In the meantime here is a picture of what I will be doing when that day comes......
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Day 9 - 3/4/9
So I didn't post anything on here for yesterday. Here's is what I did in a nutshell.
.
.
.
.
.
Yep, that's pretty much it. Not a damn thing.
.
.
.
.
.
Yep, that's pretty much it. Not a damn thing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
